How many times in your life have you wanted to do something like take a trip, go to a program, or visit a friend, and, for whatever reason, you told yourself no, I cannot do this? By saying no you take away whatever joy, passion, or experience your spirit wants you to have.

Why do we say not to ourselves?


Call the shots


The top reasons we don’t give ourselves permission are:

  • Guilt – You wouldn’t want to have too good a time, or spend money because you believe that it may take away from another.
  • Worry – if you do this, someone in your life will not support you or will feel abandoned.
  • Limiting Beliefs – You never saw yourself living your life with these possibilities, so you discount that the opportunity is possible.
  • TimeYour schedule is too booked, too many people rely on you.
  • Money– you have to save ALL of your money for a rainy day, or you have been taught that it’s not acceptable to spend money on what you want.

All of these are just excuses for not allowing ourselves whatever it is we want.


What does not giving yourself permission look like?

You may take away your permission in several ways by thinking or saying:

  • “No, I can’t “
  • “My spouse won’t allow me to go”
  • “My kids need me and I can’t get away”

Do any of these look familiar to you?

Why, if you have such a desire to do something, do you take away your permission?

When I look at the variations of the short list of excuses I’ve heard over the years, there is a common thread. They all involve ways that you are looking for permission from others.

So FEAR is calling the shots.

If you allow yourself to do what you really want or are passionate about, what does it say about you?

What does it say about your beliefs around life or marriage or parenthood that we have created for ourselves?



The next time you want to do something and you find yourself saying, “No, I can’t do this”, ask yourself:

Write down your answers. It’s really important to get them out of your head and onto paper. Look at what you wrote and then ask yourself what belief you’re holding makes you limit yourself.

Once you come up with the belief, change it by coming up with an affirmation, which allows you to begin to think differently for yourself. If you need more help to figure it out, sign up for my “Bust a Belief” 3 video series to the right of this post.

You may also want to bring in additional support from those around you, who you know would support you.


Give yourself permission to call your own shots. Take off your self-imposed limitations and really enjoy your life!

I would love to hear what your favorite excuse is for not doing what you really want. Let me know in the comments below.